The Great Red and White

With Canada Day just around the corner (July 1 - tomorrow) many people may be ramping up their plans for the big mid-week day off. This week’s cultural topic is:

HOUSE PARTY

Sure, you could make your way down to the festivities around town, fight the crowds, overpay for drinks and battle traffic after the fireworks…which, ironically, is likely what I will be doing. But consider this option: party in a controlled environment at someone’s house.

They’ll have a nice little BBQ - maybe do up some steaks or burgers or chicken or veggie burgers for you weirdos. If they have the ability, they might have a little fire - hopefully in a fire pit – and of course – drink just enough to be satisfied but not too much that you can’t make it up for work on Thursday (unless you’re like me and don’t have a job in which case days of the week don’t really matter). If you’re lucky, you might even find a party with a hot tub in case it rains or gets characteristically Calgary-cold at night…

Attention Asian people:
YOU ARE NOT GOOD DRINKERS. Asian people suffer from what is known as ASIAN RED FACE – aka Asian Flush, Asian Glow, Red Cheeks, Oriental Flush…or more scientifically – Alcohol Flush Reaction. It’s caused by an asian gene’s inability to quickly metabolize alcohol intake and a lack alcohol dehydrogenase, an enzyme which breaks down simple drinking alcohol (ethanol) into the eventual digestible product – acetic acid. Approximately half of people with Asian descent are considered to be sensitive to this drinking condition. The interim byproduct of the conversion of ethanol to acetic acid is acetaldehyde, and it is this byproduct which causes capillary constriction through face, eyes, neck, and virtually all other epidermal surfaces and gives Asians that bright hue we all like to make fun of them for, leading them to make us think they are in fact way drunker than they may actually be.

Attention White/non Asian People:
Just because you aren’t Asian doesn’t mean you can’t suffer effects of acetaldehyde. This is a possibly (unconfirmed studies) carcinogenic byproduct and is one of the leading causes of the dreaded HANGOVER…but at least you won’t turn bright red after a couple sips of your favorite bevie.

Luckily for me, this deficiency skipped most of my asian-half of the family, though one time I had a really stiff and super spicy Caesar and was also sun burnt, so it might have looked like I had it, but several follow up attempts have confirmed that I am mostly immune.

Whether you're RED faced (Asian) or WHITE faced (non-Asian), the combination of faces at your house party will be perfect in the spirit of our great country's confederate anniversary. So this Canada Day, remember kids:

Whatever you do, this Bud’s for you…unless you’re Asian.

Procrastination Meeting: Tomorrow

Thought it would be fitting to throw up a post since I haven't officially written anything in more than approximately three weeks.This week's cultural topic is:

PROCRASTINATION

Over the last few months I have become a master of this act. Without hard deadlines, it becomes very easy to put things off. Excuses can constantly be made on why things aren’t done. The weather is nice. The weather is crappy. Traffic is congested. A good show is on TV. Youtube. Maybe you just don’t feel like it. (ps check out Sungha Jung on youtube)

Ever found yourself using one of those excuses in order to do something more fun and likely less productive? Maybe you play video games or watch a movie instead of cleaning the house – I have NEVER done that... Or maybe you sit outside and read a book instead of cooking dinner. But you still have to clean the house. You still have to eat dinner. You still have beat your newest game on Playstation 3. I still can’t pass Rockband on Expert – maybe because Green Grass and high tides is retardedly difficult even on difficult on bass, but we’ll talk about Rockband some other day.

Nay, we will talk about RockBand right now. Rockband is easily the sweetest video game ever made. Drums, guitar, bass, singing all in one magnificent plastic conconction? Absolutely brilliant. Anyone who has NOT played Rockband – STOP READING RIGHT NOW AND GO PLAY!

WAIT! DON’T LEAVE. COME BACK. Dang, just lost a reader two. Too late for them anyway. Their life is better now having played that awesome game. They’ll be back sooner or later. Anyway, anyone who HAS played and doesn’t like Rockband, I ask you this: what the hell? Classic rock songs in an interactive format with so many different difficulty levels (4) that even a geriatric could pass on a first attempt – what’s not to like?

I was talking with some people the other day about the merits of learning an instrument or new language, versus something like photography as a hobby. Argument was raised strongly support music (by musicians) and how it’s a skill you learn gradually and can often retain for the extent of your life with occasional practice and early dedication. The counter argument, of course, is that it DOES take a great deal of dedication, whereas photography relies heavily on the equipment at the photographer’s disposal. A beginner guitar or piano player will not be able to break out Stairway, but a first time photographer might be able to capture the world’s greatest scene (subjective, of course). I like to think I dabble a little in both: Travel inspired photography; Rockband inspired guitar.

Did you ever see the episode of Family Guy where “Stewie Kills Lois”? (Spoiler Alert!)Well, turns out at the end of the a two part episode, Stewie dies at the hands of his parents after taking over the world. Then we learn at the end it was a all a simulation Stewie was running and Bryan called him on it. Well that’s not really all that different from what has just happened here. Only this was probably way more entertaining. No real substance and time well wasted….but better to procrastinate than do something productive. Thanks for stopping in.