The Living Broke

“Does everybody know what time it is?”

That’s right, it’s nearing the end of the month. Payday is coming up! But you know what that means – it’s “budget crunch-time”. You can see it in the streets and you can feel it in the air. The pubs are less busy, the people are more stressed out, and every average person thinks just a little more about everything they buy. This week’s cultural topic of the week is:

MONEY

The mayor of London just recently proposed a raise in the minimum pay grade for the people of his city. Talk is now ongoing about ways to raise the current minimum wage to what they refer to as a “livable minimum wage”. The minimum wage in England is based on marginal age brackets, whereby, the worker’s age will dictate how much they are entitled to based on the national minimum wage standards. Workers aged 16 and 17 can make as little as £3/h and minimum wage for anyone over 18 is £5.05/hr. Average wage for Youth (under 25) in London and surrounding area is somewhere in around £5.60/hr, Luckily for me, I make more than that. The astounding part of this statistic roll-out is that by the mayor’s estimations, working fulltime hours, the average person in London will need a wage of somewhere between £6.70-7.15/hr to maintain an acceptable standard of living.

(Many studies suggest that room-shares are not an acceptable standard of accommodation, which puts most student and foreigner housing out on the street (though not literally).)

London is currently ranked number five on the top 50 most expensive cities in the world, based on housing, food, clothing, household goods, transportation, and entertainment, relative to wages. Moscow ranked number one, followed by Seoul, Tokyo and Hong Kong placed higher, respectively. After London are Osaka, Geneva, Copenhagen, Zurich, Oslo, New York. So take THAT you stats lovers.

The way I see it, there are three major types of people who are (employed and) broke and for obvious reasons, the reasons you are broke can be different.
1. The self-nominated broke. This is the kind of broke that most people wouldn’t really mind being, if they had to be some kind of broke. These people decided at one point everyday that if they are to hit their savings goals, they must stick to a budget in order to do so. Generally, pretty forward looking people and don’t mind going out for a drink every once in a while, as long as they haven’t already spent too much that day. Probably have aspirations to own something grand in the future and by being responsible spenders, they are able to do this. Straight up, this is probably the best kind of broke to be. Chick-Ching!
2. The Budgetarily Broke”. Budget broke people are the people who make just enough to survive healthily. They eat well, but often cook at home because eating out costs a little too much. These people are on a strict budget and though you may actually still have money in the bank, they are not willing to exceed it. If they spend too much that day, they’ll be into the red. Credit cards debts are avoidable, but it’s not going to be easy. Frugal – that’s a nice word for it.
3. The Broke Broke. Budget? What’s that. This is bad. Broke broke people spend more money than they should and by the time they figure out they’re dwindling in the cashflow region, it’s too late. This is why overdraft was invented. These people are the reasons banks make money every quarter, and this is why credit card companies love getting people into debt. Problem is, these non-planning broke broke people won’t ever even get approved for even ONE credit card, even though they’ll need a WHOLE BUNCH just to make it out alive…

Over the years, I’ve had a handful of credit cards, and admittedly, most of them were just so that I could get a free coffee mug, or baseball cap I never wore, or Calgary Flames toque, or a Calgary Stampede bandana, or a University of Calgary t-shirt size XL that I would never be able to fit into, or whatever. Point is, I’ve had a few, but I’ve actually only kept one – and even the one I’ve kept I’ve never used beyond the money I actually already had in the bank. That’s pretty good, I reckon.


For me, budgeting in the past has been relatively easy. Steady income makes for steady allowances, and little spending on consumer goods makes for more spending on beer goods. In England, just like in most developed countries, depending on the employer, workers may be paid weekly, bi-weekly, or even monthly. I am unfortunate enough to be in the latest group. But it’s kind of good. Monthly, they lay out the cash and, daily, you work with it. Simple, right? WRONG. Rents are paid weekly here in sunny London and since you often don’t get paid for the first month of a new job, you may be stranded with no choice by to pay out English prices with tons of your Canadian savings. Hypothetical? Not so much…

Anyway, people always talk about living life to the fullest, and how money can’t buy happiness, and how poor people lead more fulfilling lives, blah blah blah. Hate to say it, but though I am generally an optimist, I’ll have to go with the as eternal pessimist on this one: money definitely make living life a whole lot easier.

Damn, if only I could win the lottery…

Don't call me a hippie

“If it feels good, do it” - Sloan

Have you ever heard that song “I’m a hippie” by some band I forget the name of and could easily look up but won’t because I can’t be bothered that basically goes through all of the things that all of these neo-hippies stand for and goes on to show that even “hippies” do non-hippie things? Well I have and if you can bother to find that song, go for it. This week’s cultural topic is:

Environmentalism

I don’t know if this thought crossed anyone’s mind just now when you read that little preamble, but you may be asking yourselves how environmentalism can be a cultural topic. Shouldn’t it be a scientific topic? Yes. Yes, it should. Businesses these days are constantly pounding on the idea that energy efficiency is good and that fossil fuels are limited resources and billions of dollars are being invested in to R&D for sustainable development, and governments are implementing bills and signing international accords that regulate the amount of this and that that has to be used or saved, or reused, etc, and that’s fine. They’re probably just looking out for themselves and future generations. But admit it. The “environmental stance” is mostly for PR. And good PR makes for good business.

As far as people go, I don’t have a fundamental problem with being eco friendly, but depending on what crowd you’re in, it seems these days, especially in England, that being environmentally friendly is either righteous or chique. I don’t know why, but whenever I pick up one of London’s free newspapers, I always end up flipping straight away to the “Green London” section, even though they’re usually always talking bogus hippie crap and how things like seal hunting, or the fox chase are immoral and endangering the eco-balance of the world and blah blah blah. I’ve definitely become more environmentally minded over the past couple of years, but I still believe that there’s nothing quite as good as sitting at home with all of the lights on because electricity is cheap and then driving down the road in my 4x4 SUV, pulling up to a gas station and pumping it full of hydrocarbon fossil fuels because image is everything and 4x4s are sweet. That’s what I’ve learned to love growing up in an oil-rich free market economy…but it’s not senseless waste.


I remember when being environmental was simply sticking to the “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.” Basically, these neo hippies all think they’re doing the world a favour by not having washed their hair in a month, shaven in a year, and they never use hot water or electricity in their homes, and think they’re better people for it. Newsflash: that’s mostly drugs. So cut it out. The cool crowds are the types who join in because everyone else does, kind of a lemming effect. And it’s fine because they don’t hold a strong moral stance on the issue and don’t really get in the way. Personally, while living in England, not having a lot of money has pretty much solidified “reduce” and “reuse” and the only real thing that keeps me recycling and preventing me from throwing my empties into the regular garbage bin is the fact that I’ll get hell for it from my “green” flatmate. So I guess I’m probably one of the cool guys.

Culture subtopic: Recycling. In North America, people recycle mostly because they’ll actually end up getting some of their beer money back. In fact, recycling might even be one of the reasons to host a party in the first place. Hosting a party always leaves you with tons of left over drinks; drinks you would never even dream of buying yourself, either because they’re too girly (even though you like the taste), too expensive and you’re poor (though for some reason you think it’s a great idea to have your friends over), and some that maybe you just don’t like because of certain (non)memories of good parties-gone wrong when you were younger and got sick off certain drinks (mine’s Molson Canadian). So after the clean up is done at least you can sit back and enjoy a beer from your fridge on someone else’s dime. And the next day you take all the empties to the bottle depot, pocket the $10.35, and call it a day. In England, though, they’re basically missing out on the free money part, so when it comes down to hosting a party, the potential for leftover drinks is really all you’ve got to look forward too, though you might actually have a good time and if you do then maybe your friends will thank you because after all, you’re a pretty good host and you don’t mind having them over again sometime in the future because they’re pretty good company too.

Subtopic number two: Organic food. Genetically Modified Organisms (GMOs) are apparently the devil. Or this is what hippies want you to think. But guess what. In many studies the subjects couldn’t distinguish between organic and non-organic foods. Health benefits from eating only organic foods are yet to be conclusive. And though Hippies seem to love to protest anything about consumerism, they fail to realise that they’re organic food actually costs more and that no matter what they do, GMOs will one day save their lives. I just don’t get it.

What I’m trying to say is: when I choose to recycle, it shouldn’t be because it’s cool, or because I’m getting money for it, or because I think that energy efficient tools built from my old beer cans and clothing made from old plastic coke bottles are really neat and innovative, it should be because it’s just the right thing to do. Or so that’s what THEY’ve been telling us. But what do they know? I say do what feels right to YOU.

PS. Psychedelic music is crap.

Turns out I'm a tourist...STILL

Today, on my normal commute to work, I walked down a road I had never been before. To be honest, there wasn’t much of anything I didn’t expect and in reality it didn’t really make me a bigger person, nor did it raise any particularly stimulating debates in my mind. I often try to take unfamiliar routes to familiar destinations, since most of what we can learn is from the unusual. For example: have you ever written the conclusion to a piece before you write the intro and the body? Well, maybe it’s because I’m a cheap-skate, but this week’s half-anniversary cultural topic is:

FREE CULTURE

“Culture” is a pretty broad topic. London has a population of anywhere between 12 and 14 million people (depending on how the metropolitan limits are set) and houses countless historical and not-so historical sites, tourist hang-outs, sport venues, live theatre, musical acts, future/past musicians and of course, museums. But what does London have that YOU might like?

In London, “culture” is everywhere. To most, English Culture might just be a bunch of people walking by each other pretending not to notice each other until one of them has to step to one side in order to avoid a collision. Living in London is kind of like being in a big maze playing a big game of chicken. But if you think about it, walking down the street can be both a game AND a cultural experience. Culture, though, is not just going somewhere or doing something; it’s taking away from the experience. Curiousity. Knowledge. Growth.


I am not afraid to admit that I am a huge procrastinator. I cooked this evening for the first time in a week – just because I couldn’t be bothered otherwise. Through university, you get used to pulling all-nighters to finish papers because hitting deadlines makes for good grades. Most people I know who have lived in London for many years have never even been to the Tower of London or Westminster Abbey, because they’ll “get around to it”. When there’s no real deadline, what’s forcing you to actually do anything? I’m guilty of the same thing.

Before last week, I had only been to the National Gallery, which hosts everything from early renaissance to post-impressionist paintings. Even so, I didn’t make it there until 2.5 months into my stay. This is the kind of museum I like. Simple, concise, direct, no real surprises. Last week, after an eternity of procrastinating (despite walking by it everyday on my commute to work), I went into the British Museum. It was mostly made up of ancient artifacts dating back to before 1300 BC. It makes you wonder what it would say if it could talk – or if it would even remember that far back, for that matter. Growing up in Canada, we don’t really get anything that old. So that kind of thing is always cool to see. And then there was the Tate Modern. The main exhibit at the moment is a series of giant slides that go from all 5 levels of the museum and descend all the way to the bottom level. To me, it seems like more of an amusement park than it does art. Bottom line: Modern art. I don’t get it. But people must like something about modern art because that museum was packed. I’d like to get to the other big museums and having been to only a few, I feel kind of stupid. You see, in London, museums provide a wealth of knowledge…at the attractive cost of nothing.

Over the past few months, I’ve been only to a few small theatre shows. Reason being, they are just too pricey. The shows I’ve been to I have really enjoyed, especially the big production of Mary Poppins – especially because of its familiar story (thanks again to Mike and Kate!) Depending what you go to and how far ahead you plan, theatre can even be fairly inexpensive. But by going to theatre, or live music, or even opening up to new types of music, you can easily become more cultured. Listening to someone else’s opinion is always free – especially at Hyde Park’s speaker’s corner…

At the end of any given day, the streets and the public “bins” (garbage cans) are littered with free newspapers. This is London’s private sector’s way of encouraging propaganda. It’s also a good way to see what kind of news is making the headlines and stay in tune with the main happenings of the city. The three big free papers are METRO, London Lite, and (my favorite) the London Paper. The problem with the free papers is that all they do is scrape the surface of the matter and though they talk about big issues, never actually offer a solution or reasoning. A couple of the papers are extremely leftists and all they can talk about is how corrupt big business has become, or how global warming is going to kill us all, or how last week some celebrity wore red underpants. And sport. But it’s definitely better than leaving everyone in the dark about current affairs. It probably is an overall positive for society. After all, if the readers don’t agree with what they’re reading, they can throw it away without guilt.


In the past months, I’ve learned how to make a budget and stick to it. I have learned to cook different types of meals and eat healthy. I’ve learned how to out-drink a ton of my friends and still make it home in one piece. I have learned more about America living in London than I ever did actually visiting like how to differentiate American accents. (Sometimes I can even tell what southern state some damn tourist comes from without even reading their State College sweatshirt.) I’ve learned more about European culture: rivalries, opinions of nationals, history, etc, than I ever could have in a textbook. I may not keep all of the friends I’ve made over the last half year, but they can rest assured they’ve definitely enhanced my London cultural experience – and I didn’t have to pay a thing for it.

This post comes to you 6 months in the making; today being, of course, my half-anniversary here in foggy London town. Countless questions and unanswered mysteries are coming to mind daily. I always find it ironic to be walking down the street and to hear London calling by the Clash, ironic only because even if London wasn’t actually calling, people would continue to come. The ongoing joke is that the Pols and the Aussies will eventually take over (more sooner than later) and there will be no actual English people left. But things still bother me. Even after a great deal of search and research, I still can’t figure out, besides being a once powerful (super-powerful) nation, why Great Britain is so dang rich; why the pound continues to be so strong; and why it is, despite the overwhelming conception that English people are rude and their weather comparable, that people continue to flock here. Now, normally I would say something sly like and “I guess we’ll never know.” But in this case, I think it’s that cultural question that makes it so fun…

Grills, Smokers and Choices

“The big one tastes just like the little one.”

Today was a beautiful sunny day in London. Slightly breezy, but when the sun comes out, you don’t even think to complain. In London it looks like spring all through the winter, but when the tulips are planted in central London, now that it’s “summer time”, everyone knows what time of year it is: spring. And what’s better than a plain old patio? It’s our cultural topic of the week, of course!

BBQ

In the world, there are four main types of patios. Patios have:
A) a table and chairs
B) a barbeque
C) a table and chairs and a barbeque (both a & b)
D) none of the above.

There are other variations too, like being affixed to a garden, but the key ingredients are listed in the above multiple choice list. To be a properly equipped patio the correct answer is C). A) and B) are acceptable substitutes, but there is no excuse for D).

Now that we’re clear on that, first, I’d like to rub in the fact that it’s still snowing in Canada. I realize that it’s probably not THAT cold, but it’s still colder than here and that’s what’s worth talking “aboot”. As it still stands the international conception of Canada is that it’s just a vast, mountainous country covered in snow and cold – sometimes, like this week, they’re right.


Today after work, my friend and I met up with my flatmates on our patio. We brought frankfurters, a loaf of bread (in lieu of buns), ketchup, mustard, mayo, and black pudding (which is surprisingly good…try some.) and had a good ol’ fashioned cook-off. It was, like I mentioned before, slightly breezy (which eventually drove us inside because of being too cold) but overall, it was pleasant. The barbeque was only about 30cm wide and 40cm long, but did the job and made the apartment smell nice. My shirt still smells like cooking meat. Delicious.

Second, I saw something tonight that I’ve never seen before: a disposable barbeque. Like a disposable camera, the one-time-use barbeque serves as an excellent alternative to having no barbeque at all. The proper barbeque is on the way, jut like the table and chair set they ordered. It should be here sometime between the hours of 9am and 9pm between the days of now and sometime in the future.

Third, in purchasing a barbeque, one huge decision must be made: Propane or Charcoal. (or electric, but that’s lame) As most people know, Hank Hill sells propane and propane accessories and prefers propane-grilled steaks. Propane offers a consistent, reliable heat source and are relatively easy to start, run and turn off. Equally, charcoal, especially in combination with hickory or other smokers, offer a nicer, richer flavour. Heat control is less accurate and because there is not an unlimited supply of coals, the heat eventually runs out. So realistically, the choice is between ease and flavour.

Fourth, my flatmate is Australian. This evening it was confirmed that Australians do, in fact, “throw another shrimp on the barbi”, but not really. They would actually throw another “Prawn…on the barbi”.

Last but not least, next time you cook up a steak you are going to have to choose whether to fry it up quickly and make do or to flame broil it on the searing hot grill. So, above all remember this: barbeques are sweet. End of story. Oh, and also, drinking beer on the patio is also fun. So do that too.