The War on Climate Change

Today’s forecast: Mainly unpredictable with a 50% chance of uncertainty.

A few weeks ago there was a huge rally down at Trafalgar Square where they were protesting the overusage of fossil fuels and they had a big march through the streets promoting ways to prevent climate change, and improving nuclear power. But what is the root cause for all of this commotion? "Blame George W Bush," they said. I pretty much got a kick out of the whole thing.

This fall, the southeast of England is having record breaking highs through the late fall/early winter season. We’re getting up to average highs around 14C and the sun shines 5/7 days of the week. Weather on the other side of the Atlantic, however, is not quite so nice. Vancouver’s been boiling their water because of contaminated reservoirs and received over 6 inches of snow in the last week. Calgary is seeing highs around -28C but is expecting the weather to improve with the arrival of a high pressure system (Chinook) passing through the southern Rockies. Through the rest of the southern prairies they are looking at unseasonably low temperatures and Ontario, Quebec and the Maritimes are on watch for severe weather warnings.

That sucks. Which brings us to this week’s Cultural Subject of the Week is (you guessed it):

WEATHER

I’m here in the practically tropical (un)sunny London where it (doesn’t) stay light well into the night and it definitely isn't (definitely is) dark by 4pm had I known it was going to be such a short day, I wouldn't have moved here. (That’s obviously a lie). I’ve gotten a number of emails from friends as well as one from my mom (who is kind of like a friend) and a call from my dad (who is also a friend). They all tell me (which I later confirmed on a government website that it was cold, really cold, really really cold in Calgary...somewhere in the range of 35 to 40C colder than it is in London.

This past weekend, Calgary was expecting highs around -25C, with lows below -30C. Right now it's about 12C in London, so you do the math, that's almost 40C difference.

According to the Government of Canada Almanac, average temperature for this time of year in Calgary is -11C. What this means, is that on any normal year the temperature differential between Calgary and London is (give or take) 20C.

This seems like crazy ramble, but now I’m about to step it up a notch. (A notch, for those who don’t know, is an arbitrary measurement which makes reference to notches on a belt. Thus, the expression “stepping it up a notch” is similar to “taking it to the next level” and is simply a metaphoric way of improving or “making something better” and does not, in actual fact, have anything to do with real belts – which, you may remember, must be matched with your shoes.)

I expect that we can agree that Costa Rica is a tropical country. So, for argument sake, let's use Costa Rica as our tropical temperature median. Today, the high in San Jose, CR is 26C, which is consequently the average temperature for a Costa Rican November day. The difference between a normal temperature in Calgary for November and the actual temperature in CR today is 26+11 = 37C (which rounds up to 40C). What this means is that on an average November day, at any given time Calgary will be 40C colder than Costa Rica.

Where is this going?

As in any properly conducted scientific experiment, there are three variables, the dependent, the independent, and the controlled. For the sake of this scenario, Calgary will be the controlled (constant), the independent will be the ending point, and the dependent will be the temperature differential between normal Calgary and a tropical environment. Today (Tuesday), the difference between London and Calgary is over 40C, so in using Calgary as a constant reference point, using 40C as this case’s dependent temperature and finding a suitable match for this week’s temperature differential.

Therefore, relative to Calgary’s current temperature, London might as well be tropical.

Skewed logic? Probably. But no one ever said the weather made sense.