Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

“Do you guys want to get off here?”
“Yeah, let’s get off.”

In London, you can get around on public transport in a number of ways: buses, overland trains, or underground trains.
Of course, no one ever talks about how cool the overland trains are, because frankly, they aren’t. Buses, even though they often come double-deckered, aren’t anything new to anybody. So, when walking is just going to take too long you’re only left with one possible option, which is consequently this week’s English Cultural Topic of the Week:


THE TUBE

The London Underground, aka The Tube, is hands down the fastest way to get around in London – provided you don’t get off at the wrong stop and/or miss your connection by a couple of seconds. I won’t say how long it takes from place to place, but it’s an excellent underground network and let’s leave it at that.

After getting off the tube, when you blow your nose, the tissue is black. I’ve learned that – contrary to my original belief that London was just incredibly polluted and it was soot from the regular air – the black is actually brake shoe powder from the trains. (Which came as a slight relief, but I then realized that either way I will be subjected to it. Incredible? Not really. It’s actually pretty gross.

The thing that really blows me away is that you can actually get an Underground that goes ABOVE ground! Doesn’t happen in the centre, but further out (where I don’t like to go) it DOES happen.

The number of times I have smoked my head on the yellow help-lift-yourself-out-of-your-seat-or-keep-your-balance-while-the-train-is-packed-and-moving bar is ridiculous. The number is two (2). The point is, it just shouldn’t ever happen.
While in other cities, they call the underground train a subway or a metro. Here, a subway is a pathway that goes underneath a road, kind of like a crosswalk or a bridge, but it goes underground, “sub-way”. And just like any other city, they have some stops that are virtually useless. Mornington Crescent is one of those stations. The name means nothing to anyone, including most people who could potentially get off at this stop, so I won’t spend too much time dwelling on it, but the fact that exists is pretty much just a waste of time, resources and labour.

Upon arrival of every stop, the prerecorded lady comes on the intercom and gives directions specific to the next stop. This may be what other underground or overland lines you can access at this stop, details about what doors you can and cannot (dis)embark from, or what kind of attractions are near by that might be of interest to tourists. This is also the way I’ve been learning how to mimic the London british accent. Unfortunately, up until now I have only perfected one sentence. It doesn’t have much effect in my spelling it out, but imagine me doing an automated version of this: “This station is Tottenham Court Road. Change here for Central Line.” The lady kind of sounds like the computer onboard the Starship Enterprise or a lady version of the robot from Lost in Space, but we still get along pretty well.

This week’s post comes on a Sunday instead of a Wednesday/Thursday because I’m headed out of town this week for work and won’t have a handy computer at my disposal. I’m thinking about changing my post date to weekends, since I, like most people, have the most free time on weekends. Besides, the most interesting things happen on the weekends; that work thing doesn’t get in the way of fun.


I’ve also noticed that no one has seemed too curious about what I’ve done for work. What this means is that a) no one reads these damn things, which means that I just write to appease myself, b) no one cares what I do for work, or c) (which I hope for everyone’s sake is the real reason) that everyone has just already figured it out for themselves. The only guess I’ve had came from my little (but taller than me) step-sister who guessed I was a stripper. She gets an A for thinking-outside-the-box, but gets an F for being way off. I’ll take the average. Luckily for her, Cs get degrees. Well, I’ll let the cat out of the bag; I’m in sales. The group of people I work with is really cool and everyone is incredibly positive and really supportive, so the work environment is great. But seriously, with all of the sentimental stuff out of the way, do you want to know the best part about my job?

I can’t get there by bus, there’s no direct overland, I don't have a car and it’s too far to walk…so tomorrow, like every day, I get to take the Tube!