Seeing things a little darker

"Ah, there they are..."
- Mike Moussa, as I put on my Oakley Spikes on a sunny afternoon on the Thames

I realise now that a beach update was probably wasn't overly fulfilling last weekend, especially because I wasn't even on the beach, nor did I have plans to go to the beach directly from there, (though I DID make it to Sorrento whose beaches were more like jetis and I found one this afternoon in Bari) but I can turn this one around. When you want to go sun on the beach, what do you need? Probably a towel, a hat, a swimming suit, an umbrella if it's really hot out...and of course, this week's cultural topic of the week:

BIG SUNGLASSES

Today is my last day in Italy, which is fitting, since no one cares more about their looks than the Italians. You can probably outfit ourself in a brand new Armani or Versace outfit and you might compete with everyone looking their coolest in their Dolce & Gabbana bandanas and swimtrunks, but then one thing they'll always have you beat on in the glasses. After all, la bella figura needs to be accessorised...


I often get flack for having 'bigger than normal' sunglasses and I'd like to think I know sunglasses pretty well. I have probably over 20 pairs (all but one are really cheap) and as such am fairly critical of people who wear sunglasses that either don't fit their faces, are too little or too big or just don't suit what they're being worn with... I go through stints of purchasing sunglasses and believe you me, it can be an expensive, yet stylish habit.

I like big sunglasses because, when push comes to shove and we're all telling the truth, I have big head and a fairly wide face. If I didn't have big sunglasses I would look like one of those idiots who wears sunglasses that SHOULD fit his face but don't, and that's one of my big fears. Big sunglasses have purpose too, not only do they block the sun, but they block MORE of the sun. Coverage is important in not burning your retinas and becoming temporarily or permanently blind.

I have one pair of blue sunglasses that are pretty small, not too small, but when I've worn them I've been accused of being 'matrix'. I used to have a pair of glasses that one of my bosses told me made me look like Rock Hudson (whether that's a good thing or not, I don't know...). I've been accused of 'Elvis-ing' before also, while I had big ones on and I was trying to grow out my sideburns. I once had a red tinted pair for snowboarding when it was too warm for goggles that turned out to be womens' biking glasses. But I didn't really care. Any women who wore those would have had to have pretty bad taste.


The thing I love most about sunglasses is that the just turn down the world one notch. It can be bright as hell and you just pop on whatever tint sunglasses you think might fit. Yellow makes the world brighter, blue slows it down. Brown or black turn it down a little and redish/purple let you know when you or your friends are burning 30 minutes before it's too late. I don't personally like polarised glasses, but they're all the rage if you're fishing or walking along a hot ashfalt road. Mirrored sunglasses are cool to an extent, but if you really need to check out how you look more often than you can just by walking by a car and taking a quick glance, you should just get a real mirror, put it in your pocket and take it out every five minutes...just like the Italians do.