YOUR HOMOS

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUTTA MA MOOOOOOUUUUTH?! - Chris Tucker to Jackie Chan, Rush Hour

This will be a short one - like a refresher course cause it's been a while. This week's cultural topic is:

HOMONYMS

What's with people these days not knowing how to spell the words they are trying to write? English teachers are rolling over in their graves trying to figure out why it is such a big issue with kids (in particular) knowing how to use simple homonyms.

I would like to highlight the three most simply corrected spelling errors in commonly used English language - and I'm NOT trying to be a dictionary here...I just can't take it anymore!

You're/Your/ur
You're = you are. Your=possessive. Therefore, YOUR so cool is not correct. You're NOT cool if you're thinking that you're and your are the same. You're can be possessive as in you are possessive and have possessions but your not possessive cause that doesn't make sense. You're=U R does not equal Your=ur. .

To/Too/Two - I see two people messaging to each other using the wrong to/too/two all too often.

Their/There/They're. They're=they are. There=a place. Their=like your=possessive. They're going to meet us there with their friends. THERE, see the difference?

Shorthand - somewhat acceptable in t9 phone texting and even then is stupid in my books - books whose dictionaries don't even include shorthand! Ur buddies might think you're def pretty tight cuz ur party last nite was the sickest. Talk 2 u L8r! DUH

No, I'm not angry - It's grammar and grammar is simple if you follow the rules. Remember: Ain't NOBODY touch a black man's radio!


PS I really like this photo - From Zoo Lights 2009, Calgary, AB

Guest Blogger

If you check in more frequently here than I do, you'll remember my good friend, Dale Vaughn. As I mentioned, he's written a short how-to guide for those "just surviving" and I had the great honour of being selected as one of his first guest bloggers.

It's a little different from the way I usually blog post, so it was a lot of fun and you might even be able to learn something.

Check it out. Let me know what you think.

http://startlivingfortoday.com/Stop_Surviving,_Start_Living_by_Dale_Vaughn/Living_For_Today/Entries/2009/9/6_Opening_doors.html

Great book, great motivation and a great way to see things in a little different light.

Howdy Y'all

Nothing makes me happier than to know I am making difference. Unfortunately, these days I am not doing that. Being an unemployed part of society is really draining. This week’s cultural topic is:

COUNTRY MUSIC

This is also a game: guess how many country music titles are blatantly incorporated.

It seems every summer I get a little bit more into country music. I’m worried that eventually it will take over my main repertoire of music, but for now it’ll stay number two. Why? One magical event happens every year that increases exposure. This event is the Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth aka the Calgary Stampede. Cal-GRY. Calgary turns country. Cow-town. Despite growing up with most of my friends in the city, they, like me, have become pretty countrified too.

My interest in country music is relatively recent. I grew up with the likes of Van Halen, Eric Clapton, Stevie Ray Vaughn blasting from the kitchen, and rock music constantly on the radio. My brother liked this kind of music but fell into a crowd that also liked rap (for some reason). Myself, I was always a rock kid – strayed off (for some reason) into ska and punk for a brief period, but came back to my senses and went back to the classics like the Stones, Zepplin and the later glam rock of Guns n Roses or Def Leppard.

The fundamentals of rock and country music are the same. Based on Blues patterns or 1-4-5 progressions, appreciation came easily once regular attendance at Cowboys nightclub’s 25c draft Thursdays in University made it impossible to avoid. We resisted at first, of course, but wearing cowboy hats (last count for me 8) to the bar and teaching hot girls to two step became fun. I ain’t as good as I once was, but the line dance set is still the highlight of my night, whether I’m stone sober or after ten rounds of Jose Quervo.

After I bought my first country album (not that I have all that many), I bought Led Zepplin III to counter act my potential fallacy. You see, though both of my parents are from Alberta, it was somehow looked down upon. My dad nearly kicked me out of the house when he heard Toby Keith coming from my computer....but after reasoning we agreed to disagree despite classic blues riffs existing in all country and rock.

I’m becoming worried because all I’ve been learning lately on the guitar are country songs and though they are catchy and easy to play, I’m not learning any new chords. It’s not tough, but someone’s gotta do it. Live country music is good too. They can put on a show just as well as any rocker – the only difference is that cowboy hats are allowed.

In other news, I recently had a photo of mine discovered on Flickr which was shortlisted, then approved for inclusion in an online guide of Calgary. It’s not great publicity and I will not anytime soon be making photography my main objective in life, but it’s pretty neat to be recognized for work, even if it is only for exposure. Everyone wants to be kind of a big deal – like playboys of the southwestern world.

Calgary Geese – Schmap Calgary Guide

What does taking photos have to do with country music and being unemployed? Not much. But no matter what, you can make a difference in the world no matter how small. So let’s get rowdy and give somebody a great big howdy. Trust me, the chicks dig it.

The Great Red and White

With Canada Day just around the corner (July 1 - tomorrow) many people may be ramping up their plans for the big mid-week day off. This week’s cultural topic is:

HOUSE PARTY

Sure, you could make your way down to the festivities around town, fight the crowds, overpay for drinks and battle traffic after the fireworks…which, ironically, is likely what I will be doing. But consider this option: party in a controlled environment at someone’s house.

They’ll have a nice little BBQ - maybe do up some steaks or burgers or chicken or veggie burgers for you weirdos. If they have the ability, they might have a little fire - hopefully in a fire pit – and of course – drink just enough to be satisfied but not too much that you can’t make it up for work on Thursday (unless you’re like me and don’t have a job in which case days of the week don’t really matter). If you’re lucky, you might even find a party with a hot tub in case it rains or gets characteristically Calgary-cold at night…

Attention Asian people:
YOU ARE NOT GOOD DRINKERS. Asian people suffer from what is known as ASIAN RED FACE – aka Asian Flush, Asian Glow, Red Cheeks, Oriental Flush…or more scientifically – Alcohol Flush Reaction. It’s caused by an asian gene’s inability to quickly metabolize alcohol intake and a lack alcohol dehydrogenase, an enzyme which breaks down simple drinking alcohol (ethanol) into the eventual digestible product – acetic acid. Approximately half of people with Asian descent are considered to be sensitive to this drinking condition. The interim byproduct of the conversion of ethanol to acetic acid is acetaldehyde, and it is this byproduct which causes capillary constriction through face, eyes, neck, and virtually all other epidermal surfaces and gives Asians that bright hue we all like to make fun of them for, leading them to make us think they are in fact way drunker than they may actually be.

Attention White/non Asian People:
Just because you aren’t Asian doesn’t mean you can’t suffer effects of acetaldehyde. This is a possibly (unconfirmed studies) carcinogenic byproduct and is one of the leading causes of the dreaded HANGOVER…but at least you won’t turn bright red after a couple sips of your favorite bevie.

Luckily for me, this deficiency skipped most of my asian-half of the family, though one time I had a really stiff and super spicy Caesar and was also sun burnt, so it might have looked like I had it, but several follow up attempts have confirmed that I am mostly immune.

Whether you're RED faced (Asian) or WHITE faced (non-Asian), the combination of faces at your house party will be perfect in the spirit of our great country's confederate anniversary. So this Canada Day, remember kids:

Whatever you do, this Bud’s for you…unless you’re Asian.

Procrastination Meeting: Tomorrow

Thought it would be fitting to throw up a post since I haven't officially written anything in more than approximately three weeks.This week's cultural topic is:

PROCRASTINATION

Over the last few months I have become a master of this act. Without hard deadlines, it becomes very easy to put things off. Excuses can constantly be made on why things aren’t done. The weather is nice. The weather is crappy. Traffic is congested. A good show is on TV. Youtube. Maybe you just don’t feel like it. (ps check out Sungha Jung on youtube)

Ever found yourself using one of those excuses in order to do something more fun and likely less productive? Maybe you play video games or watch a movie instead of cleaning the house – I have NEVER done that... Or maybe you sit outside and read a book instead of cooking dinner. But you still have to clean the house. You still have to eat dinner. You still have beat your newest game on Playstation 3. I still can’t pass Rockband on Expert – maybe because Green Grass and high tides is retardedly difficult even on difficult on bass, but we’ll talk about Rockband some other day.

Nay, we will talk about RockBand right now. Rockband is easily the sweetest video game ever made. Drums, guitar, bass, singing all in one magnificent plastic conconction? Absolutely brilliant. Anyone who has NOT played Rockband – STOP READING RIGHT NOW AND GO PLAY!

WAIT! DON’T LEAVE. COME BACK. Dang, just lost a reader two. Too late for them anyway. Their life is better now having played that awesome game. They’ll be back sooner or later. Anyway, anyone who HAS played and doesn’t like Rockband, I ask you this: what the hell? Classic rock songs in an interactive format with so many different difficulty levels (4) that even a geriatric could pass on a first attempt – what’s not to like?

I was talking with some people the other day about the merits of learning an instrument or new language, versus something like photography as a hobby. Argument was raised strongly support music (by musicians) and how it’s a skill you learn gradually and can often retain for the extent of your life with occasional practice and early dedication. The counter argument, of course, is that it DOES take a great deal of dedication, whereas photography relies heavily on the equipment at the photographer’s disposal. A beginner guitar or piano player will not be able to break out Stairway, but a first time photographer might be able to capture the world’s greatest scene (subjective, of course). I like to think I dabble a little in both: Travel inspired photography; Rockband inspired guitar.

Did you ever see the episode of Family Guy where “Stewie Kills Lois”? (Spoiler Alert!)Well, turns out at the end of the a two part episode, Stewie dies at the hands of his parents after taking over the world. Then we learn at the end it was a all a simulation Stewie was running and Bryan called him on it. Well that’s not really all that different from what has just happened here. Only this was probably way more entertaining. No real substance and time well wasted….but better to procrastinate than do something productive. Thanks for stopping in.