Blame the Europeans

It’s been around since the beginning of time. It’s in the media. We all have one, but some peoples’ are different. Some people follow others and some don’t. Even stupid idiot emo-jerk kids (whose I don’t like) have one…who am I?
This week’s riddler is Kai – and this week’s cultural topic is:

STYLE

Critics and connoisseurs claim that Europeans basically set the stage for the world when it comes to fashion and fashion trends. The hottest designers are Italian and exhibit their masterpieces in Milan, the street with the highest concentration of shoe stores per stretch of road is in London, and among the expensive shopping districts in the world is in Paris. So they must know what they’re doing.

Style is obviously a personal choice. People dress the way they want to dress and chances are if you are in a certain demographic you are more likely to dress one way than another. There are styles you can find at the mall. And since malls are often looked down upon by many-a-shopper, there are styles that you can’t. There are styles you will find on a fashion runway, and there are styles you will find only on the street. Some people like to dress athletically and prefer comfort, and some dress up no matter the occasion. Everyone has to choose their own style If you’re at a loss, of course, you can always visit the GAP to find out what’s new and exciting in the fashionable world of “average”.

Common trends: Lawyers and accountants can most often be found in a suit and tie. Engineers and geologist love their khakis and black leather jackets. Construction workers find themselves in jeans and a t-shirt, maybe sporting a hard hat…but personal protective equipment aside – they will also wear work boots. But that’s at work. It’s outside of work which really shows who’s who… I actually don’t know anyone in the world who doesn’t like jeans and a t-shirt for a lazy day around the house.

The style I have most easily fallen into is one I like to call “farmer”. I never grew up on a farm (or even in the country), I’ve never driven a big truck or hearded cattle. I’ve never owned a really nice cowboy hat (though I do have six or seven). On account of genetic defects known as allergies, I’ve never even properly ridden a horse. But I dress like a farmer/lumberjack/redneck because so do lots of people. Plaid is pretty universally known as a blue-collar design. I don’t have any REAL facts on it, so I won’t pretend anything beyond what I’ve already written, but it’s amazing how many people wear, how many stores supply and how many people accept this style as a reasonable thing to wear around in the streets, in the bar, in your car, on the ski hill…

Personally, I am pretty willing to accept most styles on most people. HOWEVER, one style I just hate is that of the emo. Stupid tight pant. Stupid long bangs that cover only one eye. Stupid hair dyed black. Stupid not working out. Stupid studded belts. Stupid glasses. Stupid impractical converse running shoes. Stupid pretending not to care what others think which is obviously wrong otherwise they wouldn’t dress like total idiot retards… But don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with following others in the way you dress. Emo-style, however, came from California so we can’t blame this one on the Europeans.

But where’s the proof you ask? Well, I now have empirical evidence that proves that styles in Europe are ahead of those in North America. I, Kai Hochhausen, purchased, over one year ago, a pair of sunglasses from a magical clothing chain known only as H&M in London. That pair of sunglasses broke, as a result of wearing them on my shirt neck and on the assumption that they were cheaply made from the beginning, when I was in Spain in the summer. I was devastated. I desperately shopped in every H&M I could find for the rest of my European vacation. But alas, they were nowhere to be found. Two weeks ago, in Calgary, I found that exact pair…one year later, to the month. How does that prove anything?

It doesn’t. Let’s go shopping.