I'm sure everyone by now, of the few regular readers I have, are sick and tired of me complaining about the random, different, always changing keyboards they have in all different countries. Well, let me tell you, if you thought Germany was going to be any better, you have another thing coming. Ä, Ö, µ, and ß are just a few of the keys that we don't have, mostly because we don't have those letters in English, and though they get in the way of what is normal typing for me, they make sense in their respective languages. The one thing I HAVE noticed, though, is the common switching of Y and Z, and that only just proves that I've tried keyboards in many countries, this week's cultural topic is:
MEETING DEADLINES
With Canadian Universities gone back last week and Europeans about to go back over the next couple, deadlines seem to be popping up out of nowhere these days. I realise, yes, that I failed to meet my latest deadline of posting at least every Monday, so for those who check in regularly, my apologies. I've been making my way around the Czech Republic this past week, with an obvious stop in Prague and a second one in the home of Pilsner Urquell (the oldest Pilsner in the world), Plzen, where I stayed with a friend and didn't have internet...or even running water. It was fun.
There are two main types of deadlines, really: the kind that are for fun, which don't really matter and the kind that actually matter. The kind that matter, for example are ones where money is at stake, or pride, or something of substance. This might be like submitting a multi-billion dollar proposal to a client, or showing up for an exam, or making a flight on time, or whatever else that can actually affect the rest of your life of somebody else's in a huge way. Fun deadlines are like the ones that I make to make sure I write a little bit every week. In fact, this blog has had more action in the last month than my journal, which goes to show, I suppose, that I've been too busy making friends and surviving the travelers life.
This whole trip for me has been virutally unplanned up until now. I've been working my way along a general route, but when I find somewhere I really like, I stay for a while. A few months ago, I had all the time in the world, and the only real deadline I had to meet was a figurative one, which said that I couldn't run out of money. When the money's out, the deadline is therefore past. So aside from the bank balance, there has only really been one other deadline that I've been working towards. That is Oktoberfest. I've met so many folks in the past weeks and they all, like me, seem to be working towards the same goal. Survive, drink a lot, go home.
This time, though, I've managed to round up a friend from Calgary to come join the debauchery. So, my deadline is meet him. The hostel I check into tomorrow is the first that I've had booked ahead in the entirety of my trip, so I'm really looking forward to facing the real world once again.
That being said, beer is a diuretic. What this means is that it dehydrates your body, sending more water to your muscles, and as you drink more beer this is why you feel bloated. The problem, however, is that since your blatter is a muscle, it contracts the more a diuretic substance is intaken. Since beer is primarily water (average strength = 95% water, 5% alcohol), the average blatter has only a 600ml capacity (less when in frequent use) and at Oktoberfest the average size of a beer 1l, the deadline we will most often be faced with over the next couple of weeks? Not peeing our pants.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
The Clay kind are better
"It´s not that I want to kill her, I just wish she wasn´t alive...anymore." - Stewie Griffin
It´s funny for me to think that only one week ago I was in Croatia soaking up the sun, desperately getting as dark as the sun would let me before I headed north into the mountains, but in one week you can do a lot and cover a lot of ground. This past week I ticked north-western Slovenia off the list and now I´m on my second day in Salzburg. As you walk down the streets of Mozart´s hometown (until age 24), streets are littered with everything Mozart. But he´s not Salzburg´s only claim to fame. The Sound of Music, of course, where, in 1965 Julie Andrews taught us all a song to help us remember our doe-rei-mi´s, which brings us to the cultural topic of the week:
PIGEONS
I hate them. I really just don´t understand why anyone could have any reason to like them either. They´re dirty; they´re ugly; they don´ßt sound nice when they caw; they scavenge; and they are inefficient flyers. In some areas, pigeons are considered vermin. People are strongly encouraged not to feed them and they are often compared to the likes of rats...with wings. I would have liked to have a picture of one of them for this post, but I can´t be bothered to waste a photo on one of them.
I WILL say it IS good to be back in the mountains, since there aren´t quite as many pigeons around. They tend to hang out in bigger cities where there are more stupid tourists to feed them. I guess that´s kind of the thing. If someone feed a pigeon or two here or there it doesn´t really matter to them, because they aren´t actually directly affected by it unless they do it in their own home. I saw some people doing it today and it really pissed me off. I suppose, however, I used to feed seagulls and sparrows and other little birds (Trivia bit: Sparrows are not native to North America. They were brought over by the explorers as pets and since they had no natural preditors, were able to flourish...I imagine it´s the same with whatever kind of devil bird pigeons come from), but they are at least big birds and raptor-like, respectively.
In London, they say that you are never at any time more than 10m away from a rat. I never actually saw any while I was there, but a habit I DID pick up was attempting to kick pigeons as I walked by. Now, this may sound mean, but it´s absolutely necessary, kind of like having to eat a horseburger in eastern Europe...you just do what you gotta do. For the animal activists out there, though, I have never successfully hit one. I´d feel bad if I seriously injured it or whatever, so I like to give them a bit of a chance to not get hit. It´s not that I was them dead, I just don´t want them to be around me. Ever.
Remember that scene from Mary Poppins when they go to the bank and there´s that pigeon lady and it´s all emotional and the kids sing a song? Well, Julie Andrews was in Mary Poppins, just as she was in the Sound of Music (different character, of course)and she was one hell of singer in both, so much so that she even brought the hills life here in Austria. Having said that, though, I would sing praise to anyone who does the opposite to all the pigeons.
It´s funny for me to think that only one week ago I was in Croatia soaking up the sun, desperately getting as dark as the sun would let me before I headed north into the mountains, but in one week you can do a lot and cover a lot of ground. This past week I ticked north-western Slovenia off the list and now I´m on my second day in Salzburg. As you walk down the streets of Mozart´s hometown (until age 24), streets are littered with everything Mozart. But he´s not Salzburg´s only claim to fame. The Sound of Music, of course, where, in 1965 Julie Andrews taught us all a song to help us remember our doe-rei-mi´s, which brings us to the cultural topic of the week:
PIGEONS
I hate them. I really just don´t understand why anyone could have any reason to like them either. They´re dirty; they´re ugly; they don´ßt sound nice when they caw; they scavenge; and they are inefficient flyers. In some areas, pigeons are considered vermin. People are strongly encouraged not to feed them and they are often compared to the likes of rats...with wings. I would have liked to have a picture of one of them for this post, but I can´t be bothered to waste a photo on one of them.
I WILL say it IS good to be back in the mountains, since there aren´t quite as many pigeons around. They tend to hang out in bigger cities where there are more stupid tourists to feed them. I guess that´s kind of the thing. If someone feed a pigeon or two here or there it doesn´t really matter to them, because they aren´t actually directly affected by it unless they do it in their own home. I saw some people doing it today and it really pissed me off. I suppose, however, I used to feed seagulls and sparrows and other little birds (Trivia bit: Sparrows are not native to North America. They were brought over by the explorers as pets and since they had no natural preditors, were able to flourish...I imagine it´s the same with whatever kind of devil bird pigeons come from), but they are at least big birds and raptor-like, respectively.
In London, they say that you are never at any time more than 10m away from a rat. I never actually saw any while I was there, but a habit I DID pick up was attempting to kick pigeons as I walked by. Now, this may sound mean, but it´s absolutely necessary, kind of like having to eat a horseburger in eastern Europe...you just do what you gotta do. For the animal activists out there, though, I have never successfully hit one. I´d feel bad if I seriously injured it or whatever, so I like to give them a bit of a chance to not get hit. It´s not that I was them dead, I just don´t want them to be around me. Ever.
Remember that scene from Mary Poppins when they go to the bank and there´s that pigeon lady and it´s all emotional and the kids sing a song? Well, Julie Andrews was in Mary Poppins, just as she was in the Sound of Music (different character, of course)and she was one hell of singer in both, so much so that she even brought the hills life here in Austria. Having said that, though, I would sing praise to anyone who does the opposite to all the pigeons.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Setting Sails
Q: Why are pirates pirates?
A: Because they ARRRRRR.
For the past week or so, I've been in Croatia. This is the second time I've been on the internet since I arrived, and it's the first time I've found the apostrophe key on the keyboard. It's not that I'm not smart, it's just that every country has their own different keyboard that better suits the way their own writing goes and uncommon letters are placed in the less reachable areas. I told you that story to tell you this one, which is the cultural topic of the week:
PIRATES
Being on the coast and seeing millions of dollars worth of boats, yachts and massive ships makes you want one. I don't know how to sail, I don't know anything about boats, I don't normally live on the ocean, I get seasick easily, and I don't know what the conversion is from nautical miles to normal ground speed. So why a prairie boy like me would want to be a pirate is questionable. But when it comes down to it, I think it's really everyone's dream to sail the world in their own private yacht.
In the open ocean, if you find an abandoned boat, it's yours...sort of like squatters rights, only with boats instead of houses. International I've been hanging out with 5 other people for about the last week and I think a six person crew would be a pretty good size crew to start out our pirating with. One day we all rented a boat (funny that it was coincidentally the only day it had rained in Croatia since sometime in May) and I suggested, as a proper pirate captain would, that we just roll (or rather float) over to a yacht and just claim it as our own. Apparently, however, there are legal implications involved, so we opted to not become international criminals and left most other boats alone.
It's strange to think about movies about pirates and how the good guys are actually the bad guys and the bad guys are the ones you cheer for. In France (and perhaps other countries as well) there was an entire comic book series around Jack Sparrow, the great pirate captain of the Black Pearl. People talking about violence on television and how it affects children behaviour is one thing...but teaching them that being a pirate is cool?
When it comes down to it, pirates are criminals. I have a moral dilemma every time that I deliberately do something like having taken a pint glass from a pub (which are not particularly good investments, since they always break in about 3 weeks and the risk of being caught are fairly good. I suppose I download music from the internet which is not totally ethical, but that's different. The problem is I really want a boat, but to have any sort of boat worth having, it costs too much, so that's why being a pirate would be a logical first step. But for every action there is an equal and opposite RE-action - which means that for every boat I would steal, someone would lose one. I've had my camera stolen before and it's probably the worst feeling ever, so I can't even imagine what it would be like to have something worth about 200 000 times the value stolen, no matter how much I would want one or even needed one.
Moral of the story is, even if I DID steal...no - Pirate - a boat, it would become pretty much useless, since I'm headed inland from here anyway. Plus, I don't have a crew anymore. Plus, I don't have a little boat to tow behind. Plus, I don't have a gun to hold up boats with. All valid reasons why I shouldn't be a pirate. But I have to say, I really with the Croatians would just get with the program and switch the Z and Y keys to where they should be. Maybe I'll steal them some proper English keyboards.
A: Because they ARRRRRR.
For the past week or so, I've been in Croatia. This is the second time I've been on the internet since I arrived, and it's the first time I've found the apostrophe key on the keyboard. It's not that I'm not smart, it's just that every country has their own different keyboard that better suits the way their own writing goes and uncommon letters are placed in the less reachable areas. I told you that story to tell you this one, which is the cultural topic of the week:
PIRATES
Being on the coast and seeing millions of dollars worth of boats, yachts and massive ships makes you want one. I don't know how to sail, I don't know anything about boats, I don't normally live on the ocean, I get seasick easily, and I don't know what the conversion is from nautical miles to normal ground speed. So why a prairie boy like me would want to be a pirate is questionable. But when it comes down to it, I think it's really everyone's dream to sail the world in their own private yacht.
In the open ocean, if you find an abandoned boat, it's yours...sort of like squatters rights, only with boats instead of houses. International I've been hanging out with 5 other people for about the last week and I think a six person crew would be a pretty good size crew to start out our pirating with. One day we all rented a boat (funny that it was coincidentally the only day it had rained in Croatia since sometime in May) and I suggested, as a proper pirate captain would, that we just roll (or rather float) over to a yacht and just claim it as our own. Apparently, however, there are legal implications involved, so we opted to not become international criminals and left most other boats alone.
It's strange to think about movies about pirates and how the good guys are actually the bad guys and the bad guys are the ones you cheer for. In France (and perhaps other countries as well) there was an entire comic book series around Jack Sparrow, the great pirate captain of the Black Pearl. People talking about violence on television and how it affects children behaviour is one thing...but teaching them that being a pirate is cool?
When it comes down to it, pirates are criminals. I have a moral dilemma every time that I deliberately do something like having taken a pint glass from a pub (which are not particularly good investments, since they always break in about 3 weeks and the risk of being caught are fairly good. I suppose I download music from the internet which is not totally ethical, but that's different. The problem is I really want a boat, but to have any sort of boat worth having, it costs too much, so that's why being a pirate would be a logical first step. But for every action there is an equal and opposite RE-action - which means that for every boat I would steal, someone would lose one. I've had my camera stolen before and it's probably the worst feeling ever, so I can't even imagine what it would be like to have something worth about 200 000 times the value stolen, no matter how much I would want one or even needed one.
Moral of the story is, even if I DID steal...no - Pirate - a boat, it would become pretty much useless, since I'm headed inland from here anyway. Plus, I don't have a crew anymore. Plus, I don't have a little boat to tow behind. Plus, I don't have a gun to hold up boats with. All valid reasons why I shouldn't be a pirate. But I have to say, I really with the Croatians would just get with the program and switch the Z and Y keys to where they should be. Maybe I'll steal them some proper English keyboards.
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